So, first week back at the day job was a timely reminder of why Knackered Psycho is important to me. Lots of trying to catch up at work, asking the impatient to wait, the tide to turn back, and the world to stop so I can get off. A week of highs and lows, where I can feel proud and excited one minute, and depressed and incompetent the next. Time away from work doing this gives me perspective and a sense of optimism. Time with yarn makes me feel happy and creative. Time with my daughter and husband reminds me why I do this to myself. So we push on. Resilience is about many things. For me it is about hanging onto the best of yourself and making time to do the things you need to do to nurture those bits. I now measure myself by a different set of expectations and standards, ones that I have set for myself. It feels strange, but not unpleasantly so.
Each week its the small things that lift my spirits. This week it has been the feedback so far on the Thank You Shawl pattern from the yarn clubbers (thank you!), sketching out the new concept for shawl number 5, winning the fabulous Defarge Yarns ombre yarn set in the picture above in a draw, and receiving the Rockamolly mug I ordered from Doodlestop. Never a truer word was written on crockery, especially after the week I have just had.
Owning a sketchbook again makes me feel strangely complete – last time I had one it was when I was in my twenties. I still find it hard to put things down in it in case its ‘wrong’ so I still find myself searching for scrap paper to sketch my ideas on. But I am getting there now, building the confidence spoil the pristine pages with my scribbles. Its only for me. Scrub that. I should have said “Its for me”. No “only” – I need to stop doing that.
Anyway, I have made it to the hallowed ground of Friday night without any casualties. However, my most constant of all lifesavers has let me down – I have run out of teabags. Bottoms...