I am exhausted. Again. I am also going through one of those phases where nothing seems to be going to plan on any front. I am not particularly prone to melancholy, but when life gets this overwhelming, I just want to hit rock bottom and stay there. It’s not quite a matter of feeling sorry for myself, more just a strong sense of being sorry – of wanting to apologise to everyone and everything for all that I have failed to do. The only thing I find I can do is to take myself away from everything, and focus on the stitch-by-stitch repetition of making something for someone. It is a bit like making a peace offering, but it is more to do with making peace with myself than with trying to please someone else. After all, when I feel like this, I don’t feel like I can really please anyone anyway. This is more about reminding myself that I am actually capable of something positive.
So it is a little bit ironic, or appropriate (depending on your viewpoint), that I recently received a Well Being yarn box from Fleabubs, and a skein of yarn from Lollipop Guild Yarns called ‘Dance your cares away’. They were the last of my yarn clubs before I cancelled them, and they are beautiful. I want to make them into beautiful things, and they inspire me. I just wish I had more time to work with them.
On a more positive note, shawl number 2 should arrive with shawl clubbers this week. I have been so delighted with the reaction to the Thank You Shawl that I am a little bit nervous about whether the next one will go down as well. That said, I love it and I have made several versions of it that I wear a lot, so I know it works, but whether it is quite what people are expecting…I just don’t know. I really hope it proves to be popular. I will put a post up about it when the reveal time comes to tell you a bit about its development.
I will try to get another post up this weekend but I am preparing for a work trip that currently has me numb with fear. I might have to cake one of these beauties to come with me and keep me company on my travels. They will give me the peace I need to think clearly and push through this next bit of stuff. A bit of yarn meditation is in order…